Tag: writing

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my new day

Crazycatlady

i have not blogged in a wail I have not been writing much. I am still talking to my ex I tried blocking him but he always phoned me on my phone private message and he could control my Alexa because he now’s my password. Tonight I told him I am talking to my boyfriend and he got angry and I turned of my Alexa. I meet someone who is kind and I am scared of him as all he wonts is sex. He tells me I can touch him when I wont I am not used to that. So he scares me because my ex made me fell as though everyone out there is dangerous. My head is saying to give it a try but how can I with my ex over my shoulder all the time. My PlayStation friends have been up and down blocking me and then talking to me. I think they are two faced but I am trying to ignore them. I am trying diamond craft. I have not had time to start it yet. I do have a lot of knitting and crocheting things on the go, my support wonts me to go out more.. the reason I don’t is I can’t afford to go to cafes anymore. I lost my pip and its been difficult as I had to turn of sky and its a change to watch freeview. I have my firestick and watch Netflix and Disney as well as prime. Which is loads.

my dogs got better behaved, he comes back when called now we worked hard on it.

So wail its 11 pm and I am of to bed ow I forgot I have been ticktocking and doing live video but the men think I am dating I tell them I am not, they don’t listen.

i fell like i am happy with just enjoying my own company with my dog.

A pet is precious and it’s the half the lifetime we have them loving a pet is precious and its a short time we have them so spend all your time with your pet their life is short.

I grilled a chicken it still did not tell me how it crossed the road.

Night all

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brave enough to continue

Crazycatlady

hi all not posted in a wail as i was blocking my ex from talking to me he wangled him self in again saying i would be better off siting their listen to him talking to his mum and playing loud whooshing sounds occasionally glassing towards the camera were I am.

my friends on my playstation are also friends of his. but they choose to stay with me. just today he phoned to tell me to unblock him on PlayStation i said no he made out a big deal about a sick cat he has and then i was their with a tear in my eye. as the people on PlayStation telling me i should not of answered the call and he phones on a withheld number and it could be my housing. i have heard nothing more from him. it hurt me he made me fell as if i could not function in my own house without him on video with me. well i spent the morning felling a bit weird not waking up to calling him but i did it and found my neighbours talking to me more i was not left all morning alone. i had the people saying hello wail i walked dog and i sat in garden talking to my neighbours and then i had a good day in the afternoon talking to friend also i went to pick up dogs flee medication to stop him getting flees and then i spoke to a nice lady their.

are second walk was just walking no of lead this afternoon as their were people with food around the park and he loves food that too much.

so now its 9pm i am going to rest and hope for a good day tomorrow.

hoping to get up earlie and not go back to bed till 11am again waisted most of my day.

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since my last post

Crazycatlady

since my last post i really took my own words and thought about it. i have been in a deep depression feeling dirty and letting my house get really dirty so i was hit with a cleaning bug and started cleaning you should of seen the year of dust under my mat alone. i am not finished but because i almost fell if it was not for a box placed in the right place i could of hurt myself. lucky enough i did not someone’s looking over me. well carmines came over me and no matter how my back hurt i needed to clean it was like having the beach sand with the dust i picked up. i felt as though i was good and not feeling dirty just took me a year and a half to get out of my deep depression. from feeling dirty and low and i was not thinking of myself very high. i wroght that poam and it really made me fell carm and controled of my life. i suggest any one look at my last post. it can help. so thinking i fell good now my floor clean and my things sorted but more tomorrow. i shall clean the bedroom and put a cover on my quilt for a wail in a long time.

to fell that sharp felling of carm and relizesion

to be feeling not dirty.

is a way of being happy.

going on as i need to go on.

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my family

Crazycatlady

my sister seems to have it all together and it annoys me why wont she help me. she works and has a clean house her son thats 20 cleans the house when she doesn’t she goes on holidays. she sees my niece and nephew every weekend and she has two dogs but difference is she has someone at home helping her i have no one to walk the dog when i am sick and no one to help me clean my house is a mess and my dog is putting on weight. i have no one to drive me and the dog to the beach. i cant walk far as always out of breath cant give up as always tired when i do what do i do i need someone to come see and direct me but no one will. i am stuck in a hard place i have a scarf i am loom knitting and that i just did some put it down and not got motivation to pick it up again. my thoughts are rushing and my heart beat is fast. i just sit their hoping help comes but it doesnt.

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its me again

Crazycatlady

i am still battling with giving up smoking i turned to vaping but it takes to long when i need to charge the vape. i am talking to my PlayStation crew again but have to do it through the app on my phone as i sold the console a wail ago. so i try use lozenges in-between charges or chewing gum but i was using to many puffs of the vape well its takes time. wail i talk to the PlayStation crew i don’t have my ex on the Alexa. he wont talk to me wail I talk to them or rather Lisen to them moan about their game. as i talk they cant hear me well. but my mental health is thinking wail their chatting I don’t have much to worry about. its when they all leave and I am alone that i am thinking I fell lonely. i in the thoughts of getting a new PlayStation but i cant afford one. so i just have to be content with app on phone. i am saying i wont one but i have to not get food shopping for that and i cant do it. i tried saving and it did not work always took it out for something. went to creative writing class last Wednesday and they did Halloween storys. i went good getting things out in poem’s things like

what make you scared?

as well as if you were in the dark what would you see?

i made good story’s in ten minutes. they sounded more like poems.

heres a thought of day

so what if i went to the shop and ended up at a festival all-night?