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confusion

i had a few things happen in the days i last blogged i was texted by a friend i meet once in town i was a mess at the time and homeless. he wonted to come see me as he was in the area. so i said yes why not. well i meet him of bus and i took him to mine the dog was a lover him but lucky enough he was good with dogs. so i was a little apprehensive as did not now him that well and was worried he could turn in to a murdered and i go missing. the truth was he was gentle and would not hurt me. he stayed the night and he wonted to watch ghost investigation. as we watched it i felt like i was going to be richly murdered but he was a nice guy. he stayed night i slept a little but not much. it was put in my head by my ex that people were murders. not true, i got up at 4am and the dog stayed with me. my friend was asleep. i went for milk at 7am and then got cereal Aswell. my friend woke up at 9am i had taken dog for walk at 8am and then feed him. so by ten o clock my ex phoned on Alexa i canceled it I tried to tell him i was busy. he acted hurt wonted to now all my bissness. i had to block him. he just phoned me with private number. my friend understood he said yes i now someone who never takes no for a answer to. so we spent the day walking the dog. he caught bus home. now i was tired hurt by ex. confused. finding out my son was in a car accident but he’s ok. so i had not eaten and i made spaghetti in tomato sauce on toast made me fell better. now i just listen to my PlayStation crew talking games zombies.

deside to do your best not to be hard on your self. but be kind to yourself.

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my family

my sister seems to have it all together and it annoys me why wont she help me. she works and has a clean house her son thats 20 cleans the house when she doesn’t she goes on holidays. she sees my niece and nephew every weekend and she has two dogs but difference is she has someone at home helping her i have no one to walk the dog when i am sick and no one to help me clean my house is a mess and my dog is putting on weight. i have no one to drive me and the dog to the beach. i cant walk far as always out of breath cant give up as always tired when i do what do i do i need someone to come see and direct me but no one will. i am stuck in a hard place i have a scarf i am loom knitting and that i just did some put it down and not got motivation to pick it up again. my thoughts are rushing and my heart beat is fast. i just sit their hoping help comes but it doesnt.