Author: Crazycatlady

i woke up on friday morning and i had no ciggretts. i did everything i would usely do. feed the cats make coffee. ecept i could not have a smoke. i felt weired so i grabed my nintendo and played my game. i was suprised that i was not as bad needing a cigrete. i did have a vape. ice flavour. tastes like mint. is nice. me and my husband stayed in bed all day. tv on he was playing his game on his phone. i played my nintendo its really long game and lots to do on it. i had a few times during the day that i was temted to make a astray cigrette. i thought no i will put all ash in the bin. was not easy to do that. so it got to 9pm. i had a party. 24 hours smoke free,i dd use a vape though. i found after 24 hours of no smoking. i was breathing better and my musles are felling losser and not so stiff. i will talk to you in the morning and i will be diffrent proberly. last time i managed to not smoke for two weeks but then i failled so if i can manage three weeks. so its weired in the mornings to wake up and not have a cigrette. it can fell a little bit like, i am free loser in movement and a little bit felling lose. i cant smoke the vape untill after i have had a coffee and brushed my teeth. still getting the rubbish tip mouth though. well i will say that, wow my longest blogg yet.

so i get up to my coffee and i see my best friends, we dance in the morning light, so come on now, meaw meaw meaw. i love the shape of you.

its midnight shall blogg tomorrow and let you know what my saterday was like all locked up in my house with my husband unable to go out. night xxxxx

Their comes a time when nowing your mentaly health will take a blow. That’s its better to do the wright thing rather than the lazy thing. Sticks and stones can break your bones and words do hurt. Having to be mean to be nice is a hard thing to do..with faced with aggression and hurtful words. Its almost always the wright thing is best.

Its scary time with this treat of the corona virus. Best we can all do is listen to the advice and stay calm. The advice out their in the media. Their will be a cure for this. It will just take time. So all of you stay safe and calm. This time next year it will just be another virus are kids will be injected against. Stay safe stay calm. You can always wash hands with washing up liquid too xxxx

I am putting my head on the pillow. I think I was a little too annoyed. As every time I go in to the kitchen I have to zig zag dance with the cat walking in and out of my legs. Can get annoying when your in a rush. The cat still dances. Zig and zapping as I go. The cat pleased,how all we dance. We dance together on all.

Woke at half seven very unusal .I felt really good. Weired I always get up at 9am feeling really bad and tired. Must of had a better sleep last night. So today got house to my self.cleaning and hoovering and moping today wail the grumpy things out ha. Got to shopping later got to get food in. The cats as usel are having their breakfast and back to bed for them. They hate the rain.ha. my husband visiting the bathroom a lot as hes nerves at going to spend a few hours with his mum at his sissters. Well maybe it’s something he ate we had a takeaway from local chippy and the chips were a little to cut too thick and it was weired did not go down well x. My sisster messaged me at half seven she had a interview so a big good luck to her. I shall end with a good day for ducks quack quack haha x

the reason dimensia happens is still unnown but lots of things are being done to help with dimensia and this link i have revided on a fact sheet you can download and print out take a look.

it was a start to a new year very rocky. just the bigging of january i got the police to kick him out. i was all emotional and my sisster came round and cleaned up the whole house. i was so distrate that he would be on the street and i found out he was at his mums. he came round on the monday and we made up then we got cubboards for the bedroom with more space and looking tidy. a week later he had a suspected stroke he has on going tests at the hospital. his family has realized that they are needed more in his life he relizes hes been really bad and all has been carm. we shall see were we go. i think he may have a demensior related problem and brain scans pending. my family how ever are barley speaking to me. but with time maybe they will see it my way or maybe not. i am cooking up lots of stews and prepering fruit. we will work on having my family come round. we have stoped playing the playstation and spend evenings caching up on tv and going to bed earlie. giving up smoking will come but not at the momment. not all can get this kind of outcome. very rare to be able to have a family that so suportive.

it is a day to wonder?

its a day to remember?

its a day to get a good rest?

My new year new hope and new learning I am going to apply to a university course and try and make this year good it’s a new time to be just me. It starts here and hopefully with a lot of help I will get it done work and energy.

the other day i went to see myson and i just looked at him for a long time. i looked at his head and looked to his feet, i thought owww, would he be too old now to pat him down make sure all bones were intacted. maybe a women who really would do it. she would have balls of steal. what could it be like to have your mum pat you down as if she was a wpc. maybe put something suspicious in your pocket and then tell her it was not yours she would take you down the station , the train station. what mum we going on holiday, yes son mum will wait here for you, cry cry, but mum, shh now son get on the train, the door shut and he siting their the ticket person asks were you going son. he said i dont know my mum found something suspicious in my pocket and took me down the station she said she would wait for me. shock face. ]#

so i left my husband and went to a refuge over the haloween. i had a lot of people help me and my family was great. i waas all distressd and i was off my medication which made it worse. as i could not think straight and was so upset and hurt. i had my son talking to me then. by the sunday i talked to him on messager i was missing my cats and stuff. i stupidly came home. i have been back what three weeks and all his friends ae saying i was in the wrong. i just wont my house but he says he wont leave that i have to. so its worth being here with my cats and my comfort, its not worth the shouting hes doing blaming me for him having to pay for everything, i told him its about time he payed for hings i had to pay for him and did he hear me moan about it not till now. so i applied for a creative writing course he said if it costs anything you cant do it. i told how much it would be he said well i am not paying nine grand for you i said well you wont need to pay anything. so he told me that i have to tell them i cant because hes not paying that. told him i could get a grant. he said great remember you have to pay for me and the cats. i had a interview in my local store and he stopped me going saying i would be destroying him he be homeless and we would lose the house. he watched the vote yesterday was up most te night in a bad mood blameing me because i did not vote. well here we are back home again.