lost

i fell lost and confused one minute i am giving up smoking feeling positive to be looking for a job the next i lost my positivise then i missing appoints and being late. today i was supposed to wake early take the dog for a early walk then meet my it course at 10am and then i was to meet my work coach. but instead i got awake at 8am felling tired even though i slept the night and i did not get out of bed till 9.23 and then i took dog out and i had a call my milkman wonted to see were he be delivering the milk too. so i got to my course at half eleven and they were well in to it and i was sitting their doing nothing then when i saw work coach i was tired. yes i started smoking again this morning the night before i was just using the products they give you for a few days i find when i don’t smoke i get up late. when i smoke i can get up early except cant walk far and out of breath all the time but it confuses me so i go back to smoking but it seem it unconfused me it just not working its a evil thing to quit i have everyone say i should quit but no one to talk to when i need to talk it seems all my friends go in ground between 3pm and 6pm. so i am going to smoke for a wail but i don’t now how to tell my advice at stop smoking Wales. seems i have let them down too many times already so next time i will have to do it without the adviser he was useless anyway. in my mental state i am lost and lonely and just wont to give up. i wont give up for my dogs sake but i will become lazy and relax till i am ready even though everyone pushes me i had a break down last time i worked i had three jobs and i was over whelmed like today i felt overwhelmed. noise was making me annoyed silently. i was acting normal but the tv was annoying and the noise with my ex on the alexa. i sat this afternoon with quiet but it did not help i shall try my medition hopefully it helps. sorry no quoto today not feeling good. see you again for more in the saga of my life.