hello do you feel anything

so my mum died in 2019 i was struck with grief. my husband made this worse he would not sleep and was keeping me from getting my rest. he was always shouting about bills and the shopping and getting cigarettes. he made things so much worse his mum stopped talking to me and i over heard him talking to his mum saying Shes so bad and terrible and having a go at him all the time he would say. but i was tearing apart inside.. i cried all the time and police were called to the house i ended up leaving he played the ill with mental health and could not leave the house. he was unbearable to live with. so i called the police and they made him leave. then a few days later he came to the house and i stupidly let him stay as he said he would get a bedsit. it did not happen. what happened was i left in the late night with a case of stuff. i went to my sisters and they were not glad to see me but they let me in. my now soon to be ex was ringing my sister all the time and i had blocked him on mine. then i left in June and i had the nothing by November to get a puppy. i got the puppy but i was between homes and the only thing i could think was take him to Kosh my ex he be looked after. should not of done it. but that’s me stupid. i realized what a nightmare he was and then got a hotel with me and the dog for a week. then my sister checked with landlord and i was able to bring the puppy back to hers. i was a mess and the puppy was difficult like a baby he keept me awake all through the night. i was so tired. then in January i got a flat. nice flat with shared garden. i did a university cores and me and puppy trained and walked to beach every day. i was enjoying it. then my ex as i got a divorce, bought me a echo show so i could talk to him. i was on the PlayStation talking to his friends as well. they used to stress me out and make rude remarks. i lived in that flat 2 years and because the dog peed in a hidden spot and i was not cleaning the house it went bad to top it of i got a carpet cleaning machine to help clean the carpets. but one night i filled the water container and then by morning it had leaked out soaking the carpet. my ex in a mood came down and ripped out the carpet. so the landlord was not happy as was the letting agent i was evicted. ended up homeless. i had to relay on my ex to look after my dog again. he insisted i was up their every day. he would not walk zeal he said. so i had a flat to stay in with the council wail they found me proper place. i was going up to the dog every day feeling really low on energy. but i did it. then a break through i was found a place in cardigan an hour away from Aberystwyth. i took it. as my ex was getting aggressive with me again. so i took the dog and my stuff and moved to a nice place and at the time i was scared and their was no beach for the dog. after a wail i found a walk we could do still low on energy. i saw the doctor and she put me on antibiotics as she said i had a chest infection. i was talking to the people on PlayStation when they turned on me and was being aggressive so i said suck my dick and that was that they would not talk and they blocked me. so i sold the PlayStation and the only thing is i am still talking to Kosh on the echo show. some days has nice others he angry. but all the time i am on his mum listens in on the phone on Messager with him. i tried to block him but found i need to talk to him in morning to get to me up. sounds silly as it is. but to me i could not get through a morning without him really. you may have diffrent thought on that.